Day 4 – I hate a man that I don’t even know

daughter

It feels weird to say that I hate a man I don’t even know…
Yet I still love him for the gift that he gave to this world…
To be clear, I still hate him for just abandoning her, and never watching her grow…
Yet I still love him, cause I get to see a princess turn into a Red Queen, & it warms my soul…

But I,
Know the game,
And I,
Know the pain,
And I,
Know there are so  many reasons why people simply choose to run in this world…
So I,
Stand in the rain,
While I,
Try to give her some cover & shade,
And I,
Will never condone his decision, But only hope I can be the something good for this beautiful little girl…

See it’s funny, because she calls me dad, even though I’ve never really put in the work…
I didn’t have sleepless nights, changing diapers, taking her to the doctor when she was sick, or simply scrambling to buy her clothes…
All I’ve done is check in on her from time to time, & happen to resemble her with this hair and that smirk…
But gat damn I made sure she knew she was loved, with almost every word that we spoke…

But I,
Am not a role model,
And I,
Am destined to fumble,
But I,
Hope that she will grow to be everything she can ever dream to be…
So I,
Will graciously take the name,
Hope I,
Never bring her shame;
And I,
Will always call her my daughter, even when she’s older & wiser, & knows better than to look up to the mess that is me…

In a matter of days, in so many ways, she will no longer be my little girl…
She’s 13 going on Queen, because she thinks she knows what she wants & she thinks she’s grown…
But she’s been raised strong, in family and song, and to her mother I have nothing but praise and sincerely wish you get everything you want in this world…
But seeing all that she is, and all that her life promises, I still hate a man that I don’t even know…

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